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In the Face of the Unknown

[caption id="attachment_21228" align="alignnone" width="389"] photo of Blue by Susan Kaeppel[/caption] So, here we are facing the Vast Unknowable again. The threat feels more distant than the fires on  my hillside did back in 2017. I’m once again catching myself looking fearfully out a window or across a snowscape wondering, “What comes next?”. The other evening at writing group, my counsellor buddy was talking about the “orientation” of trauma survivors. How we orient to certain experiences or fears when we are under stress. I am very clear that I am more afraid of the people, than I am of Covid19. The damage in my fire experience came from the social interactions I was weathering, more so than the flames I was seeing.  I am...

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Reverence for Range

I’ve been offered this opportunity to go to Denmark to offer EFW workshops. It's a long distance from here to Denmark. It all came about very casually. I didn’t put it on a vision board or figure out a way to make it happen. I just said “Yes, I’ll come meet her.” when my friend Maggie Ranger reached out to let me know she had a WWOOFer named Jonna Kvist Stripp, who’s horse farm arrangement had fallen through and was wondering if I would be interested. On meeting her I was immediately inclined to say, “Yes, you would be welcome in my home.” She came, painted my bedroom, picked my potatoes, we went riding and saw a bear and a cub...

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Card Reading with Blue

I've been receiving teachings from my mustang Blue this past week. It's like a 3 card spread. Past Influences, Present Challenge and Possible Outcome. First, Past Influences; a few weeks ago he gave me a reflection on giving to get and doing only as much as you have to, in order to get the pressure off. I was asking him to walk with me by pushing from behind and he was giving me lots of push back then trotting off then trying all kinds of different locations as if looking for the solution. In the round pen, out of the round pen, in the dry corral, the gates were all open. I have a huge history of trying really hard. I've tried hard to...

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The Velcro of Dominance

Yesterday, I challenged myself with Nikitta, on my default to dominance. Thanks to Linda Kohanov's book "The 5 Roles of the Master Herder" I am learning to differentiate between the roles in order to choose more consciously(Dominant, Nurturer/Companion, Leader, Predator and Sentinel). Her theory about the 5 roles she has identified are bringing me greater clarity and understanding in my leadership. Here's how it played out "in the field". Earlier, I'd velcro'ed a boot onto Nikitta's leg and turned her out with it on. It was an attempt to both support her pastern and bring her greater awareness of that part of her body. It may or may not make sense but it isn't particularly relevant to the story. It wasn't until after...

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Keeta Dog’s Dying Day

Four years ago my friend Nicole brought her 10 year old husky Keeta to live at our place. Nic was moving to an apartment in the city and had no success trying to re-home her elderly dog with a lupus condition. Keeta had woo-wooed me into committing to take her if no other home came available, one day while I was at Nic's house. So, a short time later, Nic arrived after having shoved the screaming bundle of squirm into the car to drive her out here. Keeta hated car rides. She thought leashes were for dragging dogs around, so she "assumed the position", lying on her side. She wouldn't necessarily come when she was called. I wasn't optimistic she'd settle in and...

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Slap and Be Herd!

  The "pussy grabbing" thing is getting to me. It's not about Trump. He's not the first asshole in a position of power and "public trust", demonstrating sexually predatory behaviour. I'm pissed because I'm remembering my first experience of "pussy grabbing" when I was 13. I'm angry because I'm noticing I have just accepted that it happens. Now I am outraged that I came to accept that it happens. My "first time", I was playing after school at the local toboggan hill. It was a bunch of the boys and girls from my class. The boys started chasing one girl at a time, pulling them to the ground and groping their crotches while they had them pinned. I remember watching them and trying to figure out what they were doing. There was a...

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